Be Excellent To Each Other

Grumblington-on-the-Wold was once a great town, but over the years it has decayed and become a shadow of its former self. The Town Hall has been vandalised, the 'travelling' funfair is all broken down bar the Big Wheel, and businesses are starting to close as the recession hits hard.

BUT!

There's still a sense of community, and a sense of pride over the Town. The populace, united for once under the new Mayor, have started to make inroads into the malaise that has affected the Town.

So, imagine the horror when the Mayor was found dead this morning, his eyes taken from his skull and a note left on his body saying that the Mafia were taking over the Town.

Townies, defend yourselves!

IMPORTANT NOTES

* Everything in this thread should be in character
* Please participate and don't just hide away quietly
* People not doing the above, well, you were warned...

[Playerlist]
Slightly Green
zaphod79
DavPaz
ApplePieofDestiny
Joans
Trooper
Bobbyaro
Malc
sinister agent
Craster
Goddess Jasmine
Alarm
Gilly
nickachu
flis
Grim...
Mr Russell
ElephantBanjoGnome
LaceSensor
KovacsC
[/playerlist]

With 20 players, 11 votes are needed for a lynch, and 15 for a no-lynch.

The day ends at 2pm Tuesday.

A rules and roles thread will be created as and when people start dying.

Can someone help me down from the Big Wheel, please?

This is terrible, where are the police? I pay my council tax, the police should get these gangsters.

Gosh, poor old mayor. I was working on a sculpture of him. Think I'll finish it off and see if they'll stick it in the town hall as a tribute.

Has anyone told his wife?

In the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ, who could have commited such an evil act!?

*helps Grim... down*

Cheers, man.

<Puts on horn-rimmed glasses>
<picks out a nice twinset>
<checks bouffant hair in mirror>

Well, isn't this a turnup for the books! A terrible event to happen.
I only have one thing to say.

"Shhhhhhhh"

May I suggest we offer a prayer for our fallen Mayor?

That seems like a good idea, as long as we do it quietly.

Recession getting you down? Want to raise a glass to our dearly departed mayor?
Businesses may be going out of, er, business, but the bar is still open to one and all.
Perhaps someone would like to hire out the function room for a reception?

On this sad day.....

I would like to .....

<puts on record player over tannoy>
<turns up volume>
<sits back and listens to the music of the Eric and Will>
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

(instrumental)

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven....

I'll take a 3 pints of Stella, a vodka-lemonade, a bottle of house white, and a Guinness, please. I'm not sure what the others want to drink.

Take one for yourself, obviously.

Joans, would you like some original prints of cats playing hopscotch for your function room? Bulk discount available.

Wonders if it is too early to open my cafe...

Any one want anything to eat, or is it too soon after the terrible event?

Business is obviously booming for somebody. Cheers!



Hmm, define 'bulk'?

Too noisy

[vote:Slightly Green]

hey! i was up all night getting the new audio books catalogued that you ordered, now you go and do this to me! pah! I new I should have put on some classical for someone of your tastes

They are limited edition prints. If you buy, say, 500, you can have them for £15 each. £13.75 for a thousand.

[vote:unvote]

Indeed you should! That was your first and final warning, young man, we will have no more shenanigans here...

And how much for, say, 3?

Must try harder.

£100?

And how much would that work out as each?

Nicely done, standards are slipping in this town, if only people would read more, literacy would improve greatly.

I do have one question. What, exactly, was a respected member of the community, such as yourself, doing on the Big Wheel overnight?

Do you want to buy some too?

Well, I was somewhat drunk, as was Miss McClusky, so we went on the Big Wheel. She said she was feeling ill and got off, I decided to have one more go and I must have fallen asleep.

Anyway, does anyone want another drink?

I will abstain, as should you. The demon drink has swayed many from the true path of the lord

Quiet you, you're bad for business.

No thank you, disgusting habit.

I'm willing to bet that all kinds of unexpected evil is lurking in our midst. After tonight I wager that we'll start getting a clue who is responsible for these darstardly acts.


That reminds me, I wanted to talk to you about opening a book.

Can I not tempt anyone with freshly cooked bacon butties?

Just grab the edges and pull them apart.

I think you'll find Jesus enjoyed a drink, and Noah was an alcoholic.

I'll take another Stella, Joans.

That's good advice, especially when you spend a lot of your time with your hand up a cow's arse.

I'll have a bitter lemon.

Tap water please.

<disapproving looks all round, apart from that nice Mr DavPaz>

Are you paying? If so, a flagon of real ale, thanks. You know where my studio is.

I don't actually. And I don't recall seeing you before.

/suspicious glare

I've still got you your drink, of course.

Your generosity of spirit outweighs you sinful gluttony, it would seem.

Well, thats Kovacs ruled out as potentially being Jewish. I've learnt precious little else from this mumbling, otherwise

Also, apologies if I am not around a lot during 'today' as I have a million tax returns to submit by the end of the month which I haven't started on yet, and also meetings. However, this may also lead to me being around a lot as I get bored and get distracted.

That is because you have never visited my Cafe before....

if anyone gets too drunk just call 0191 202 1499 for a cab

Ooh, ta. My studio is cunningly disguised as derelict building, so I'm not bothered by people while I'm creating my art.

My good friend, was that a subtle hint to the tune that you are homeless? The church welcomes all that welcome Jesus.

The mayor is dead!
No eyes in his head!
What did he see?
[vote:ApplePieofDestiny]

KovacsC, I'm still available for the 'comedians eating meat' mural for your wall, if you'd like. I've really got the knack of drawing Fatty Arbuckle's chins now.

Morning,

A bit of a shock about the mayor - he had a lot of good ideas to help the small shops around town and I'm sad to see all his good ideas end like this :-(

I'll be closing up the butchers early today so if you want something come along and get it before 2:00