Be Excellent To Each Other

Davydd's right, I'm a total doii when it comes to computers, so when mine told me I couldn't stay logged in because of a cookie problem, I panicked and ran a mile.
Doesn't mean I haven't thought about all you lovely people every day since [sucking up to you all is my way of apologising.]
Oh, and he's also right about the geese.

And just what time do you call this young lady? You promised to be back by midnight. That was April!

Has it really been that long?! [I've missed these Dimlies]

Question: what's the difference between '[' and '('
[Except for the shape of course, silly.]

{you're not going to like the answer...}

<is it that bad?>

I research my jokes, your last post was 1st may, I took some minor creative licence.

All part of the service.

Hi tam,

I do not remember you from 'before' which means I was either absent or not listening, so have a great big welcome. I bought a cow wearing a halo for the lat person who joined, for you I shall go and find something cute. Hold on...

*rummages*

*calls from rummaging in the big duffle bag* Do you have a big black tattoo of a rectangle on your arm?

*rummages more

Ah, I found this funny pooch. I hope you'll look after her:

That's not a funny pooch, it's a vision from hell.

Or it's a pooch after being sucked into a street sweeper.

Awww, but look- the pooch is inherently un-pretty but only wants to be loved so dresses in flowers to make you love him.

That is sweet

Why do women wear make up and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they smell.

I have heard that one before, but it is funny still.

Of course, the same can be said of many men now. We got into the lift after two guys the other day and they seem to have been for a swim in an aftershave vat. I think the paint had started to melt in there.

With that avatar you have absolutely no room to talk.

No, it's dressing in flowers so that it can hide more effectively in the shrubbery and leap for your throat unannounced.

I think it looks far too silly to be mean and bitey

I don't like dogs, but this kind of dog always looks so dopey, so as to be likeable.

blmmmmph?

Are you unaware of the phrase "false sense of security"? He'll hang around, looking all cuddly and dopey and cute, and then next thing you know he's jaws deep in your leg.

At least a cat reminds you on a daily basis that the only reason it hasn't clawed your eyes out is because it doesn't feel like it at that particular moment.

So you've met the ex Mrs A as well?

The physical scars have healed. The mental ones... less well.

I had a cat called Dopey.

My motorbike is called "Start you bastard"

Overall I'm not a big fan of Monty Python, due to too many idiots over the years reciting parrot sketches at me in lieu of personal wit, but I have to say that my fave all time moment of Python is when Graham Chapman as Von Ribbentrop leans over to an ignorant looking local yokel attending Hitler's local council elections candicy speech with the words, "He's right you know."

Hence the title of this thread made me smile.