Be Excellent To Each Other

This is what my editor has me doing now, pretty much 24/7:

The sexist cosplay girls in the galaxy.

This is what games journalism has become. And I'm part of the problem. Sigh.

DO WANT!

http://www.gamepro.com.au/slideshow/336 ... /?image=37

I'll take Jade.

Ufufufufufufufuf.....

Dear me I must stop looking at that site I'll do myself an injury !

I've never understood that Cos Play business. I suppose as a phenomena it's quite interesting, but I bet it's all due to Japanese fetishism in the end.

All said and done there are worse jobs than looking at pretty girls in costume, although none, I suspect, quite so useless. You could always write a piece on the influence of belly-button fluff on the computer gaming scene and the subsequent effect green belly-button fluff has on Cos Play.

Well, yeah. That's exactly my point. To be honest, I'm not that interested in becoming a hard hitting super-serious games journalist -- it's supposed to be a hobby, y'know?

But at the same time, I'd rather be producing something more substantial than pervy Google Image hauls. (Incidentally, I wonder what the IT guys must think when they check my PC's browser history?)

Meh. Games journalism died on its arse the moment that games producers found out they could influence reviews by withdrawing advertising and providing freebies. Everybody involved in the industry are unscrupulous cuntsticks.

...Are you calling me a cuntstick?

I'm saying I'd trust anything written on that site about as far as I could throw you. Plastered with adverts, as entertaining as a having a big yawn and you have an editor. I'd rather stare at the wall.

Games journalism died foe me when someone mistook Nina Williams (of Tekken) with Nina Gordon (of Verruca Salt)

or when I bought some shite that Official Playstation Magazine whored itself out for. Can't remember which.

Er, that was me. I'm actually a big Verruca Salt fan. It was a subconscious slipup.

Not a big enough fan to get the name right. Hand in your Veruca Salt badges, both of you

Not that I'm in a rush to defend my shiatty paymasters or anything, but how exactly would a commercial games website work without advertising?

You're asking me for a solution to that? Games websites and games makers; locked in a never ending backrubbing circle jerk.

I think you're being a tad harsh there. I completely agree that games journalism is in the toilet -- hence the thread headline -- but it has nothing to do with our opinions being bought (I've never been asked to give a positive review, either by an editor or games publisher).

The real problem is the endless chase for hits, which leads to rushed, hack-job articles. Our worth is no longer measured by article quality, but by the amount of page impressions a piece brings in.

Yiff in hell, furfag.

Didn't you have a review score changed afterwards though? Or am I thinking of somebody else here?

Nope, I'm being realistic. Out of a 10 scale scoring chart is five average anymore? No. If a game scores a 6 it's considered bad, as giving it lower than that is considered an insult to the publishers who'll whisk away those precious adverts in a heartbeat. As an "industry" you're languishing in a hell of your own devising.

S'all about forums and blogs now, innit.

Indeed. Hence why I trust your opinion Revman more than anyone writing for Yerpgonks or Crock, Toilet Paper, Shitcrap.

Christ I hate having to load a new page per image these days.

If a game gets 5/10, guess who bitches more? the publishers, or the readers?

?

If a game scores 5/10 who's opinion on that score matters?

Is my mind weird in that I don't see 5 as halfway to 10 on an integer scale?

Let me clarify. If a scale works in whole number only, then there are 5 ratings above '5' and 4 below (unless you use zero of course *shoots self*)

Eurogamer

The readers? Conditioned to be criticism adverse by the said pointless empty husks of PR dissemination?

That's been happening at least as far back as 1985.

Yep.

My main concern is the lack of entertaining reviews, to be honest. The only one I'm aware of is Yahtzee. Even though I mostly disagree with his views it's at least entertainingly put across. He's lucky in a way that his reviews are videos, as they're very hard to edit.

I have always been of the opinion that games should be scored out of five stars, in much the same way magazines like Empire score films. Certainly you never see such magazines afraid to hand out 1 or 2 star scores for shit or below average movies.

Is the film industry as invasive with their PR/advertising twats with them though?

I don't know for sure, but I'd be amazed if not.

Maybe they've got enough scrotal sacks / vagina lips to stand up to them then.

An easy one. The readers!

So when the vast majority of readers bitch that a magazine is too hard on games, what do you think happens, mm?

The main problem with hard-hitting games journlism is that no-one wants to read hard-hitting games journalism. Sad face

Really? Because I'd say: no fucker other than the reviewer. Hence changing of scores to appease advertisers or readers can fuck off to fuckity fuck.

Why pay to read games reviews when I can get all the opinions I want on a forum or two? Plenty of hard-hitting, well written opinion about, it just isn't allowed in mags or on game sites.

That's a bit like owning a restaurant and not caring that all your customers are upchucking the stuff you serve because you personally think it's top quality nosh.

I actually agree with you though, Dimrill - I think we have the same opinion on the matter. I'm just trying to give a bit of insight into why it is the way it is.

Oh I'm fully aware of the vicious cycle. I miss truthful, entertaining games reviews.

You....miss....me?

Oh you.

The problem is that lots of it is wrong. Being a good reviewer is definitely a skill, being able to see a game for what it is quickly isn't something I can do but it doesn't stop me spouting my half-baked crap all over here just because some game fails to meet my own exacting set of specifications that I had in my head when I bought it. It's the same with nearly everyone who posts on here. People who otherwise like the same games as me will go off on wrong-headed rants all the time.

Eh? Reviewers don't have any special skill or insight more than anyone else other than they're being employed to write out their half baked crap. Then this half baked crap is raked over by a scum sucking editor cunt who'll strip out any entertainment or controversy to blandly spread the shite over their foetid publication. Edge. FUcking Edge and their identityless bland crap milm.

I didn't say anyone who gets paid is good at it I said that being a good reviewer is definitely a skill.

I used to love reading the honest reviews back in the day. I still to this day will never forget the review that C&VG gave to Carmageddon on the N64. It's bum gravy. Seriously, they wrote about ten words and three of them were that. The same went for Superman 64. We are only reviewing this game to stop any one from making the terrible mistake of buying it.. 1/10. And Dr1v3r? dear lord.

However, it was Dr1v3r IMO that changed the future into what we have now. Gosh, I still remember the fucking noise made over that. I also remember the completely ass sucking reviews.

It's not just video gaming though man. The hardware reviewers are fucking liars too. I did a load of digging recently and uncovered some frankfully shockingly shitty stuff that Nvidia have pulled off over the years. Namely the 8800GT is a 9800GT. The 8800GTX became the 9800GTX which then became the 250GTS. However, nowhere in the reviews could you possibly find this out. And, the reviewers would bash on about how much better they were than your old card and even provide benchmark scores to point it out. However, what they didn't show you of course were the other and most specifically real benchmarks.

I paid £130 for my 9800GT. I could have gotten a 8800GT at that time for £40 less for the same fucking card.

Also, the laptop version of the 8800GTX was actually a 8800GT gpu. So many of them burnt up in laptops that Nvidia fixed it. Know how? well, they took the same fucking core and called it the 260m. Way to dodge the truth.

Reviewers these days are like politicians. Lying cunts with mouthes prettier than a $20 whore ( (c) Blazing Saddles).

Mark. Being a good reviewer simply means being a good writer with a large vocabulary and the ability to lie your fucking asshole off.

It has been going on a hell of a lot longer than Driv3r, John.

As for honesty and good entertaining writing when it comes to reviews. Well, we all know someone who, despite his flaws, has got both - and look where it got him.

I prefer this new 'look at these birds instead' approach to Games Journalism that Grumpysmurf has mastered.

Can't quite believe there's no Bayonetta Bint but hey ho.