Be Excellent To Each Other

Myself and a bunch of other Really Great Guys have been asked, at quite short notice, if we'd be interested in going to Sweden on a business trip for a few days, quite soon from now.

What is Sweden like? Anyone been? I believe I'd be going somewhere around Stockholm.

Remember to pack some Bacofoil. Those Swedes sure have some strange fashion tastes:

I have a Swedish friend. He makes weird 3D animations. And, er, hasn't been to Sweden for years and years, so is of no help to us.

Is it Noseybonk? Was he in Sweden all this time?

Nah. Noseybonk was in The Dark Place.

He's in my toilet? It's dark in there because the bulb has gone.

Bejesus, I'm not going in there if that thing is lurking behind the door. I'd better piss out the window instead.

Been to Denmark and have seen Sweden out the plane window! Looks nice if that helps?

Also it's expensive and has more Americans than locals... if it's anything like Denmark.

Did you try any Danish bacon whilst you were in Denmark?

Strangely couldn’t find any! Think they dump it on us! Did find lots of milk though! wow! I know!

London seems to be full of Germans, if my first tourist-y trip there on Saturday was any indication. (German women make really good girlfriends, BTW.)

I worked in Sweden a few years ago, it can be summed up thusly: "Clean, expensive and slightly boring"

A public information film for you CUS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btJvIQcPlyg

Whenever I need to know anything, I type it into google image search. 'Swedish girls', for example, is an interesting query.

Also, I can say 'I like cheese' in Swedish, but I suspect this is little help to you.

My advice would be to ask a Dane. Petty rivalries between other countries are great.

I've driven into Sweden and stayed in campsites a few times. From that perspective it's excellent, and most of the Swedish people I've met are ace.

No idea about the cities though. I can't imagine Stockholm being much like London though.

Oh, and the language is basically the same as English:

VAR KAN JAG HYRA AV PAR SKIDOR?

See?

How dare you! My mother has never been to Singapore, and my father paid for that tennis racquet with his own money!

Are you going then CUS?

Ddin't Ikea get into trouble for naming all of their budget items after Danish towns and cities?

Hopefully, yes. They've put it back by a week or two, but it's still on. I'll let you know the date and times, terminal no. etc. later on mate.

Can you bring me back some Surströmming please.

I have a book about Sverige, if you'd like to borrow it, CUS.

Is it any good?

Zardoz, one side of my missus' family is Norwegian. If you want any delicious rotting fish treats then bro, I got da hook up BELEE DAT.

It just gives a history of the country and various bits and bobs. Not sure how useful it'd be, but it's a nice book.

I got given it by an ex- who was Swedish.

Hooray! I'm deffo going to Sweden in a couple of weeks, now. Very excited about it, even though I'll be mostly working.

I'll just get a few hours to wander around Stockholm, in the evening, with my camera and some Euros.

So... anyone ever been to Stockholm?

No but I've been to Stockport.

I had sex with a Swedish girl once. I heartily recommend trying it. I'm certain there are some in Stockholm.

Predictable FTFY

Sweden is often (falsely) said to have the highest suicide rate. Because of the of the darkness. Nonetheless, Stockholm is considered to be one of the most romantic cities of the world. I'm hoping to just cram in some touristy fun, into the dim twilight hours.

I've always wanted to go to Sweden. The women used to be one of the reasons - less so now. Now it's more the horned animals.

Horned, note.

Or is it more correctly "antlered"?

Back. Ooh. Bah. Eh. Ooh... eh. Eh. Bah. Eh. Ooh. Ooh. Eh.

I think I'm unwell*. Apologies in advance. In fact, I'm going to go and sit down somewhere nice and look at a lovely picture of a pretty bird for a while. That is a metaphor**, cheerio, ta.

immediate edit: carry on please, carry on...
*sickly, ill, poorly
**unrelated to any threads that begin with the letter 's'

So how was it?

Yes, was it Sweden that made you feel ill? Not some strange delicacy you decided to try, was it? By which I mean food.

Sadly, not the food. Between Wednesday morning and this morning, I ate: 3 new potatoes, a small amount of tomato salsa, some kind of cheese/tomato fritter thing, and a Daim ice-cream. I drank two small bottles of Carlsberg, a coke, and many coffees. Just ill :/ Swedish coffee is delicious, though.

I'm taking a break from posting, but will prob be reading still. No drama, just a bit of prudence on my part. Please invite me to games and stuff, if you see me online, and I shall be 'back' when I feel a bit cheerier. I welcome e-mails, PMs n' stuff. I'll pop up my photos a bit later.

the swedes and danes are the coolest, nicest and most polite people i've ever been with. And with a great sense of humour. And i concur that the girls are purdy.

My photos. Not very many. My trip went airport > plane > airport > prison hotel > airport > coach > ace convention center > coach > airport > plane > airport, and most of my photos went on snapping folks I work with. However I do have some video that I'll edit/upload when I can (I have over 2 hours worth of USA footage that I'm still sorting through too, very mildly excitingly).

Mm, everyone I met there was very friendly. Mind you, everyone I met there was either employed by the airline, airport, hotel, convention center, or the same company as myself. Can't say that the women were notably pretty, but then I'm not so keen on blondes. The 'All Swedes are blonde and tanned' stereotype is entirely true though in my experience. Most conversations I heard tended to be in German, which it transpired was the real 'common language' of the 80+ Swedish or British developers there.

The weather there, around Stockholm, was beautiful. We had perfect weather throughout in my opinion - sunny but not blinding, cool but not cold, fresh but not breezy. There was around 3 hours of constant torrential rain, however that didn't start until just after we returned to the airport So it might be a perfect place to try and book a 'last minute' flight right now (possibly, consult with a Swedish weather report).

If so, get somewhere near the sea. A number of the folks I work with went skinny-dipping. I didn't, because they did after everyone else had already gone to bed, and because of my hideous and grotesque body. Forgot me trunks too. Anyway, despite it being the Baltic*, and it being around 10pm, they all said that it was alright once you adjusted to it; though the blokes all said that skinny-dipping was 'too much', and allegedly there was a bi-national, pissed up, distinctly chilly 'who has the most retracted testicles' contest. Like the Eurovision, but making even less pretence that it's all about which country produces the best bollocks.

No idea about food, really. The coffee was good, of course. We did find some fairtrade 'Ubuntu' cola (nothing to do with Linux) in the airport in Sweden, along with Retro Gamer. We didn't try the cola.

100 dollars is about £8.50. I was frequently confused by being asked for 10,000 for some small item, with non-hilarious results.
A pack of 20 cigarettes was typically 47. I only every visited hotels and airports really though, and nearby associated establishments.
A bottle of Carlsberg was typically 53. Not that big a bottle, either. I didn't have to buy many drinks. On the flight over, a small can of Carlsberg (I don't like lager particularly) was about £3.
We flew with Sterling both ways, in the evening. It was a near-perfect, stress-free, beautiful, relaxing flight (both ways) and, maybe the happiest I've been in months.

CURSE YOU INCONVENIENT TRUTH! WHY??? WHY!??!

* as bloke supposedly kept saying, 'Fucking hell, it's proper Baltic!'. Not realising why everyone kept laughing and splashing him.


peace out, yo