Be Excellent To Each Other

Here are 15 UK singles that, I think, would go on the worst album in the world. Several of them are covers, it appears.
Feel free to suggest replacements. They are in no real order.

1. Better Best Forgotten - Steps
2. Don't Stop Me Now - McFly Uptown Girl - Westlife (Curiosity)
3. Candy Shop - 50cent
4. Rudebox - Robbie Williams
5. Barbie Girl - Samanda
6. American Pie - Madonna The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You - Bryan Adams (Mr Chris)
7. Ninja Rap - Vanilla Ice
8. Because We Want To - Billie Fast Food Song - The Fast Food Rockers (Dimmers)
9. Witch Doctor - Cartoons
10. Ooh Stick You - Daphne & Celeste
11. Sacred Trust - One True Voice
12. Living Next Door To Alice - Roy Chubby Brown
13. No Way No Way - Vanilla
14. Lucky - Britney Spears
15. Do They Know It's Christmas? - The most recent one

Note that the Cheeky girls aren't on there because the Cheeky Song beat one true voice in the charts and made Pop Idol 2 look stupid.

So, what would you take out? And what would you replace it with?

Why "Lucky" especially?

You forgot the fucking Food Song thing "pizza hut, pizza hut, kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut" ABOMINATION

Lucky because I always thought it was her worst one.

Good point Dimmers - which song should it replace?

Billie's

I quite like Lucky.

No Celine Dion?

I would take out American Pie by Madonna as it's 60 TRILLION TIMES BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL*. It's still shit, mind, but it deserves recognition for perking up a tired piece of shit.

I would replace it with "The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You" by Bryan Adams. Far, far worse, and in the "crimes against humanity" category.


*See also: All Saints and "Under The Bridge". Hi Craster!

Disagree.


Agree.

You reckon Adams is better than Madonna, then? Heresy. HERESY.

I would of suggested that last Spice Girls song but that wasn't a hit.

No, I changed it.

That fucking 'hit me on my beeper' song that was around last month needs to be put in there. For a start it's SHIT, and secondly, who has a fucking BEEPER in this day and age apart from doctors?

Hit me on my beep-AH, hit me on my beep-AH, beep-AH, beep-AH, beep-AH beep-AH!

I found that one quite jolly.

Could you please send me your address ASAP?

I need to beat your head in with a tire iron.

Edit: Mr Grim.. please replace 'Living Next Door to Alice' with 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion.

GOD YES! FRICKIN BINGO!

Annoying frog to replace all 15

GET READY TO PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999 WITH 'Viva La Radio' by Lolly.

You have to pick what you want to replace if you want it to get onto the album!

Pink, by Aerosmith. The worst lyrics in the history of rock music.

"You could be my flamingo
'Cause pink - it's the new kinda of lingo..."

For the love of mothering fuck.

Remove "Don't Stop Me Now" by McFly, and replace it with Westlife's cover of "Uptown Girl"

Surely, surely that's up for debate.

Could you be more wrong? No.

Grim...: I hadn't spotted the change - thought the "disagree" was about it being less bad than Adams!


Also - anything by I'm-so-Cockerney Kate Nash.

Worse than
"I don't want to see a ghost
I'd rather have a piece of toast"?

I think not.

McFly are a fabulous band who did a decent job covering an all-time classic song. It could never stand up to the original, but there are a few interesting quirks in how they went about it, ditto their #1 cover of "Baby's Coming Back" (you're more than welcome to put their terrible cover of "Mr Brightside" in there should you have a McFly shaped hole in your heart).

Westlife are an awful band who utterly butchered a classic song so badly that I can no longer easily listen to the original. Also, the idea of them being 'downtown guys' is repulsive, especially compared to the original shortarse boxer/musician vs supermodel juxtaposition of the original.

Ergo, switch.

That's my side of it, anyway.

"Pink, it's like red but not quite."

Seriously.

The toast thing was genius, man.

Who *wouldn't* rather have a peice of toast, eh? There's many a heroine in a horror film who would have been relieved to walk into the darkened room only to find a plate of hot buttered toast RATHER THAN being possessed by a psychotic toast-hating ghost.

Mmmmm. Toast.

But if she took too long getting to that room the toast would have gone cold and the butter would have started to congeal. Urgh. I'd rather see a ghost than that.

But the Ghostbusters would be out of work, and destitute.

On Life - especially since the full lyric was "I don't want to see a ghost, it's the sight that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news! Life! Oh, life! Ohhhhh, liiife! Oh, life. Doo do doo doo."

The way it soared up on 'evening news' before going into that nagging 'Oh, life!' refrain, as if to say "Now, ain't that something we can all agree on?" is one of my favourite Bad Music moments ever.

S'Okay, they could become the Toastbusters instead. Arf!

Take out the Fast Food Rockers and replace them with 'Blue' by Eiffel 65

Daphne and Celeste. I quite like them.

Listening to that beeper song is like being constantly prodded in the leg by a small child.

Britney's "Lucky" isn't as bad as that cunting "Rockstar" by Nickelback. I don't hate the band, but by jove I hate that song.

Bizarrely I'm not a big fan of them but I actually quite like that song.

It makes me turn off the radio when it comes on. Forget about fucking "Beeper".

ooh, me too, but my wife quite likes it. And my reaction to it makes her like it even more, the mischievous so-and-so.



I guess quite a few people are, it's on the radio quite often. Each to their own.

I still want to see it on the list, though

"You've got my wrapped around your finger,
did you have to let it linger?
Did you have to? Did you HAVE TO? DID YOU HAVE TO?"

I honestly cannot believe she's not taking the piss of Lister's 'Indling' song from Red Dwarf:

Our love, I try to KINDLE
by firelight, it DWINDLE(D)
and I wonder if this WIND'LL
Ever... stop...

Three words... Lady. In. Red.

Since I'm now massively out of touch with the Hit Parade, I have no idea what song it'd replace in the list though. Um, *closes eyes, points finger randomly at monitor* - Britney!

Anything by the Sugababes since Siobhan - the best lyricist of them all - left.



Interestingly, Mutya become approximately 6 gajillion times better when she went solo.

I hope you're joking.

Surely you mean 'Bingo' by Catch?

Meanwhile -- and I can barely bring myself to admit this -- but I quite like Rudebox. Or at least, I don't hate it. Not sure what it could be replaced with though. 2 Unlimited - No Limits? That song was the bane of my fucking life at school. "UHHH, you like techno don't you, I bet you love 2 Unlimited don't you, TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO NOTICE ha ha ha NO NO, NO NO THERE'S NO LYRICS ha ha ha stupid raver".

Then I'd go home and cry myself to sleep while listening to something off of R&S Records or Warp or something.

Eventually though I started telling them that Nevermind was a load of overproduced commercial bollocks and not as good as Bleach. That shut them up. But only because they couldn't talk and administer a beating at the same time

McCartney's Frog Chorus should be in there, Shirley?

I quite like 'new' Sugababes. About You Now was great.

You are this.


Seriously........ if BluceRee thought Muse were soulless, he should check out the 'new' Sugababes. Or better yet, don't.

Then you are this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY

I, in my official music librarian capacity, am still trying to decide 'worst album in the world' distinction. Celine Dion's latest album cover comes close due to sheer fascinating photoshopped-into-manga-alien-villainess-face-airbrushedness. Other albums I hate are anything by Rod Stewart or Chris DeBurgh - but the worst albums I would have to reserve to prog-rock stuff like Genesis. Evil that is modern day mockney crowd pleasers are awful, but at least they aren't actively destroying rock and roll like the prog-rock/over produced ballard days of yore.

Still drunk.

THE BEST BOX SET IN RECENT HISTORY IS 'WEIRD TALES WITH THE RAMONES' - HEAR ME NOW! It has 3D glasses and comix books and everything!

Miserable sods. Daphne and Celeste were brill.

I'd put that hateful Basshunters thing in place of them. *nodsnods*

Agreed.