Be Excellent To Each Other

the movie would concentrate too much on being excessively gory and violent like most horror movies are these days, but it was surprisingly in-keeping with the gore levels from previous movies.

the Get away from her line and the bad CGI Ian Holm. In a film surprisingly light on fan service, they seemed like the most fanservicey moments

Face hugged to impregnation to chest burster to fully-grown in like six minutes? Fuck ooooofffffff.

serum that had been given to rats seems to have caused that based on the little video shown on the screen. But yes that was inconsistent with everything we know about them.

Looked bute
Sounded great in IMAX
I did not like the gestation period of the alien being so stupidly quick. It went from facehugger to full grown arsehole alien in, what, less than 5 minutes. In fact, the whole thing was so stupid at the pace it was moving. The timer of 40 minutes until the ship crashes was unnecessary IMO. Why not make it 3 days or whatever and just have them trapped. Fade to black a few times as the characters catch their breath; figure out a way to deal with a threat; or just allow the alien to fucking grow. It felt like it wanted to incorporate elements of the previous films in one compilation when it should have just picked a lane. If you want to be like Alien then just stop the characters for a minute. If you want a 40 minute timer then be like Aliens and let the baddies already be present. And low-fan service my arse. The whole thing was just bits of other films. Even the turret section from the deleted scene was present with the acid stuff. And how come she had 400 rounds in an assault rifle? And it wasn’t even as good as the source material. Look at when they enter the hive…”let’s not go here” “Hey, I heard a noise!” and just fucking runs off. And the hive was actually one corridor which they run up and then back down. Really forgettable. And the dumb set pieces took its toll in the end. When the dude took a phone call while sneaking by the facehuggers? I rolled my eyes so fucking hard. When the alien caught her as she fell down the lift shaft? When the alien dipped in a hole after that and poked his head back out? When Andy said “…get away from her you bitch”?

Talking of Andy, the actor did a good job, but come on, I fucking hate it in films when dumb means talking like you’ve got a brain injury and being intelligent means talking like you’re suddenly unaware how to talk to people. They could have just leaned more into whether the Android was evil or good without the silly fucking talking, but, oh wait they did that in what film? Most of them. And what an ending? Ejecting the baddie from space? AGAIN. Frankly, I didn’t get much of what dude was trying to do with the black goop, but I’m sure they said reverse engineer the black goop or something so where did they get a picture of the pots the goop came in? Was the shape of the pot in the DNA? And the big CG close up of the dudes face when he grabbed her by the face? I was yawning so hard. Just fuck off into space like you know where you’re going. And why did that woman inject the black goop? She had no more than a fucking paper cut by the end. She was that sodding critical as they said and even managed to limp her way back to the ship before she just decided to inject some unknown black shit in her neck.

Seriously, they should have ditched the basketball player at the end, saved the money on CG, slowed the film down more and leaned into the horror elements. AND I’m annoyed at so many CG facehuggers. Just have a couple. Those fuckers are scary enough. When it stuck its willy in that chaps mouth I was physically retching. It was fucking groovy. More of that, I was hoping. Then it just got shitter.

Mind you, I was wondering how that chap was physically able to swing his bat like a boss when he’d just took some nitrogen to his fingers. They seemed to instantly forget about that.

Anyway, I had fun at the cinema and thought it was a good time but on the way home dissected the film and decided it was a bit shit.

They're using the goo to make aliens, that's what all the vccacuum-sealed facehuggers are. Goo-based facehuggers make the whole gestation period super-fast.

Kane takes a while to pop (and for the facehugger to do its job) because the egg it came from has been lying dormant for a long time, so it’s “past its best”

Ripley takes ages to pop because it’s a Queen gestating.

The Romulus lifecycle speed is because the facehugger is freshly defrosted after being cryofrozen, so is still at its prime, kinda like how a Birdseye garden pea tastes good because they're frozen straight out of the field.

egg from vag into 12 foot tall Prometheus man in the same amount of time? Fuck off, Ridley Scott. Clearly chiming in from the Producer's chair.

I'd have to watch it again but there were a few times in the film where I said 'OH FFS.'

Lead character (Rey? Rain?) going back down the lift shaft for the by then super sketchy android was definitely one of them. But given how she managed to magically get back up to the top of the lift shaft in ten seconds, it didn't have too much of a consequence.

Lead character (Rey? Rain?) going back down the lift shaft for the by then super sketchy android was definitely one of them.

Did you think it was stupid when Ripley went back into the hive to get Newt? If anything, Rain going back for Andy made more sense, in a way -- Ripley had literally only known Newt for, what, 24 hours maximum. Rain had known Andy for possibly most of her life, and definitely for at least as long as she'd been working on the colony.