Had a strange dream last night, that seemed like it should have been a really shitty, contrived comedy sketch that goes on far too long, and is really boring, but sets up the worst punny punch line you can think off, and you're left thinking "Is that it? I watched 15 minutes of build up for that! Fuck off!"
Quote:
I was on a platform of a train station (It reminded me of the platform at Maidenhead - where I used to have to change to get to work at Marlow) waiting for a train to take me to a concert and I feel like I need a wee, so I go through the door to the loos, and it more resembles the changing room of a swimming pool than a toilet. Changing rooms like they had in the 80s, with communal changing benches, rather than individual booths. Several people are in various states of undress, some obviously just finished swimming, some getting ready to swim.
I am not interested in them, I'm looking for a urinal, as my train is due soon, and I want to wee quickly so I don't miss it. I am looking around, and there's all sorts of weird bowl/urinal/bidet looking hybrids, I am not sure if you're supposed to wash your hands in them, your backside or what. I keep on looking, there must be some normal toilets somewhere, and I eventually find them, there's a row of about 10 cubicles, but 7 of them are in use. I go to check the ones that say vacant on the door lock, and I notice that there is a queue of about 5 people waiting for them (despite them being unoccupied, the first few people are not making their way to use them). There is already some grumbling from the people towards the back of the queue, but no one wants to queue jump as it's just not the done thing. So I join the back of the queue, and this seems to prompt the people in front to use the vacant stalls and progress finally is made.
Then I hear an announcement over the tannoy that my train is about to depart, so I leg it back to the platform, thinking I'll just go on the train.
However, there are no toilets on the train as it's a tube train, but I don't panic, as there are only a few minutes between stations on the underground, so I just plan to go at the next station (even though I don't want to get off there, but I am pretty desperate at this point, I figure it's better to arrive on a later train, and miss the build up of the concert than to wet myself.
So, off I get at the next station, and look for the loos again, and It's exactly the same as the previous station, I'm thinking ooh glitch in the matrix, I find the queue for the 3 empty cubicles and wait to use the facilities, then cue the tannoy announcement and I rush to train.
This then repeats for 5 more times, 5 stations, 5 strange toilets that look like 80s changing rooms, 5 queues, 5 tannoy announcements, 5 trains with no toilets on them.
I then get to where I am going for the concert, and I really need to go now, so I think I better use the loos here, as the ones in the concert venue are likely to be even busier.
So, this time when I queue up, I don't need to worry about missing my train, I get to the front of the queue, and just as it's my turn, the seven occupied toilets all open at once, and then out comes 7 pigs made of colourful plastic circles, they look like some 8 year old has got hold of various sized and coloured plastic circles and made them into pigs.
The person in the queue behind me in the queue taps me on the shoulder, and says to me "You know what day it is don't you? It's Roundhog day"
Then I woke up
Fucking fuming