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 Post subject: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 13:41 
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lazy eye patch

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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Location: Telford, UK
Hello Spec-Chums. Have you or someone you know had to come out of the closet? Why not share your experiences? Write in and tell us.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:23 
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lazy eye patch

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(off-topic request for seriousness, hidden for neatness and that)
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Hi there,

I've attempted to start a serious thread about an issue that concerns a close friend of mine who isn't on this forum. In the past, I have grown annoyed at how if *I* attempt to do so, it will immediately be swamped by the same four or five people making stupid comments, entirely as a 'spoiler' tactic. I have politely and not-so-politely expressed my dismay at this, which I am sure is known and understood and who knows, perhaps even therefore overruled.

Given what this forum is supposedly about, I would strongly but politely urge certain people to overlook their usual, tiresome pettiness, and instead consider what I am trying to do here, and to, mmm, be rather more mature and 'excellent' and rather less petulant.

Therefore, because I am seeking serious responses here, I would politely ask that some of the above 'wackiness' be removed/split, so that anyone coming to this thread won't think it's yet another wacky joke thread and instead treat it with seriousness and hopefully, be of some use. Thank-you.

edit: many thanks.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:25 

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
Posts: 6093
To answer your question: No. But one of me bestest friends is bisexual - but she'd already told her family and that before I met her. May I be of more assistance?


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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:30 
SupaMod
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CUS wrote:
Hi there,

I've attempted to start a serious thread [...]I would politely ask that some of the above 'wackiness' be removed/split[...]


No worries. For future reference (everybody) all you'll need is the pipe-smoker as an icon.

I had a friend who came out while she was at university. Her mother wouldn't accept it, and wouldn't let her tell her 14 year-old sister. It wasn't a good situation.

Still, she's getting married next year. To the guy that was her girlfriends flat-mate 8)

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:32 
SupaMod
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Oh. Er. Well, as far as I'm concerned, anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:32 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 8062
Location: Cardiff
'fraid I can't really help you there. Although I have a couple of gay friends, they were fully out of the closet aforehand. Both are blessed with a supportive network of friends, fortunately. I don't know as to how their parents reacted though, as they have not volunteered the information.

I'm trying to come up with something penetrating and incisive to say, but I have a very boring coworker talking at me in a way which requires monosyllabic question responses. Tchaw.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:37 
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I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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So my first year at uni was spent with 3 fucking psychopaths and one really nice gay guy.

I came back from the pub in maybe the second or third week, to find the most homophobic of my flat had ripped the toilet seat of the toilet, and was smashing at the gay guys door shouting for the "faggot to come out here!" Whilst the other two flat mates laughed.

I threw the fuckwit out of the flat, and he left the following day.

That year made me realise just quite how fucking hard being gay can be, and means that although it can be heavy handed, I'm really, really happy the RTD has "his gay agenda." Things like midnight (where the possessed woman just happened, incidentally to be gay) and then it wasn't mentioned, is more important than big gay storylines (IMO).

My gay friend, hadn't come out to his parents (despite being incredibly camp around them), and it was shit like the toilet seat incident that scared him away from doing it. His only experience of being gay was it "being a massive deal," when most people not caring at uni - made him feel a lot better.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:42 

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
Posts: 6093
My friend also has very supportive family and friends, so to the best of my knowledge it's never actually been a huge issue. It does mean that she has quite a lot of gay friends, which meant at Uni I got chatted up once or twice by some chaps, which I continue to find oddly flattering despite not being in the slightest bit gay myself.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 14:42 
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Bouncing Hedgehog

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Loads of my friends 'came out' but it was no shock to anyone. My very very very good friend 'J' told me he was gay when he was about 16 and I 14, and he told a handful of people, but we all 'knew'. He asked why, if we knew, we never just said so to him, and I guess we all just figured he'd say so when he was ready. He never 'came out' to his parents as such, he just stated seeing a lot of his good friend 'W', then seeing W every day, then W started staying over and everything was just accepted. This was more or less the way with most of my gay friends.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 15:04 
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lazy eye patch

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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(Hi, thanks everyone, I'm just sitting back quietly and allowing for some time to pass and posts to be made. I truly appreciate this, ta)

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 15:13 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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Like Mimi, everyone I know just sort of slowly slid out, to fairly little fan fair or drama. However, as sinister agent's friend has shown, this isn't everyones experience.

I wonder how many gay people would rather be straight - not due to any sexual reason, just the massively larger amount of hassle homosexuals seem to have to put up with. it;s certainly easier being straight.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 21:27 
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Peculiar, yet lovely

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Oddly, given the fairly open-minded nature of most of my friends, and the frequency with which people will start telling me lots of highly personal stuff with no apparent qualms, I know only two people who are openly gay, and both were when I met them. And one I don't even know very well, although he is a thoroughly nice bloke.

I don't really have much to say on that score, as a result. Sorry.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 21:30 
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Rude Belittler

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Squirt wrote:
it;s certainly easier being straight.


It ain't easy being a queen.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 22:16 
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baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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I don't even know any, closeted or otherwise - how boring of me :(


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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 22:49 
SupaMod
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Well, you might know some closeted ones.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 22:52 
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Time Out for Fun

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that sounded like you were talking about yourself grim...

well it did in my head.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 22:57 
SupaMod
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Don't tell the wife.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 23:05 
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And suddenly, Beardy Beer Club took on a whole new meaning.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 23:17 
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Honey Boo Boo

Joined: 28th Mar, 2008
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All the gay chaps I've known were already out when I met them.

And there was one in my class in high school who, after breaking up with his gf, became gay. Which always struck me as kind of odd, as she was quite fit and apparently put out on demand.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming out of the closet
PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:26 
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All the gay/bi friends I have "came out" in a very unnoticeable, transitional way. No real fuss by them or anybody else. Usually along the lines of drunkenly snogging a person of same sex for a laff, then getting more involved, with things progressing from there. None of my mates are the types to make any kinda deal out of these things, which is good. One friend of mine has a father who recently found God, and now strictly rejects his sons bisexuality, even though he was fine with it before he got all religious. That's rather a shit situation, but my friend just cut his father out of his life, as he wants none of that crap around him.

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