Be Excellent To Each Other

<sultry voice>
It's that time of night when the world is at it's stillest and the air hangs like a curtain outside your window.

Mimi is awake. Still awake. At midnight Mimi went to bed, exhausted, but she has INSoMNIA.

It's the kind of insomnia that comes about when your mind won't rest. Pondering things over and over in your mind. but hpw do you shut off your thoughts. How do you say 'go away imagination! I don't want to wake up with wrinkles!'?

Three hours of variously trying to blank thoughts from my mind, or later trying to change the thoughts to something else by way of R. Dawkins low boring drawl on my iPod, telling me things I already know, I am still awake.

But I am so, so tired. My body wants to fall to slumber but my brain is ticking over the possibility of Jaffa Cakes as a staple food source, why wasps can always find that tiny chink in your window to get into your house but can't find the way out of a six foot high door when you open it wide for them, and whatever happened to Pop Tarts.

Oh, and now there's a spider on my pillow. Feck.

Great, now I will never sleep.

Hi!

I'm still awake. I'm trying to update my iPod. Only taking what seems like hours but probably isn't.






Here that thing about Stuart getting called by somebody who left there mobile number by accident? Want to call them and leave a rendition of a popular ditty on their machine?

Update:

It is now an ex spider.

I was very brave.

I know that everyone will say how great spiders are, but it was on my pillow, damnit, and it was huge. Also, it was on my pillow. My pillow! Where ten minutes earlier I had been desperately searching for sleep.

Spiders always know when I am in the shower. They wait out of sight all day, step in the shower, checking for eight legged beasties before you go in, and as soon as you have shampoo on your hair, they appear.

It was on my pillow.

Hi other up late people, including other half *waves*.

I am going to resort to...

The Horlicks!

Hmph. Now I want Jaffa Cakes and Pop Tarts. Hmph.

I fell asleep. I am awake again.

I never got to sleep until about 6:30 I reckon. Last time I looked at the clock it was 5:50. Hmph. I woke back up at a quarter to seven.

Pop Tarts still exist! I had them recently, and they're oh-so lovely. Expensive, but lovely.

Never ever look at the clock when you're unable to go to sleep, it just makes things worse as you think to yourself "Fucking hell, it's 6.30 and I've still not gotten to sleep!"

Also, that spider's corpse on your pillow sent out pheromones (of sorts) to the rest of his spider buddies currently in your house, so I wouldn't go to sleep tonight if I were you

I didn't man to look at the clock, but I got up to have a drink and the clock is tere as you walk in. I don't have a lock in my bedroom for precisely the reason you say.

I didn't squish the spider on my pillow (ew) I hit it with a book on the wall, then I put some Dettol on the wall to clean it, so I should be OK, I hope.

Although the UK only gets shitty, shitty flavours of them.

Abroad you can still get the gorgeous unfrosted apple we had for about 2 seconds and the impossibly gorgeous brown sugar cinnamon.

Spiders might attack?

Dudley: they had to bribe the food and drug administration a *lot* of money to get those flavours through. Banned under European law of course.

Really? On what grounds were they banned?

We always get the yucky end of the stick though, which is why I end up importing things and staying broke.

They sold the Apple one here for years so that seems somewhat false.

Me too! We should form a club.

Don't kill spiders!
It's no different to killing a dog

The Wide Awake Club?

Only if they feel pain.

If you kill dogs quickly enough, it's okay!

Ditto every other animal that's killed for our consumption.

Why? To me it is a pest. They kill flies? Ok, then they should go outside as I have no flies in my house. Certainly there are no flies on my pillow. I have not killed the little guy in the bathroom, just one that wants to share my bed.

I do not agree that it is like killing a dog. I don't have a dog, but then random dogs do not find their way into my house and lay on my bed. I cannot see why it is like a dog, unless killing all animals is equally heinous, in which case, yes, but then people should feel thoroughly ashamed of their bacon butties (as an aside I just tried Quorn bacon. It's bacony). But at least you are killing pigs for a reason, for food? I killed the spider for a reason too - to keep it away from where I sleep.

Next time I will ask someone to put it in a jar for you Grim..., and you can give it a little home on your bed

I don't want creepy crawlies in my house, I have a strict four legs or less policy here.

I'd have put it in a jar with a piece if card if I could, but I am just too scared to do that. I know it is a silly irrational fear, but I just can't do it. I have tried so many times but I end up shaking, and crying once. You may think it stupid but I can't help it, they just make me feel terrified. For my own sake it is easier for me to just rid myself of them if I can chuck something at them, like a big old book.

Video games.

That'll be because there are spiders in your house killing and eating them all.

Spiders don't eat flies. Old women do.

No, there just don't seem to be many flies around here. If one gets in I shoo him out the window quick enough. Flies I can deal with OK - I can just get a piece of paper and guide them along out the door. The same with wasps. Spiders just really freak me out though. I would like not to fear them, but no matter how rational I try to be as soon as they move I just freak out.

It's worse because they usually take you by surprise, which gets your adrenaline going anyway.

Are you saying that Mimi is old? And lives in a shoe?

Little miss Mimi
Sat on a beanie
Eating her quorn all day
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And frightened poor Mimi away.

I love this

I'm going to write it on my blackboard

FTFY

This is more accurate: you win

Little Miss Spider
Sat on a pillow
Walking around for a look.
Along came a Mimi, who with a quick shimmy
Killed her stone dead with a book.

Mine is a less pleasant version admittedly.

Mary had a little lamb,
The midwife was more than surprised.

The mention of.. them.. has brought one out in my house. The little sod.

I'm like Meems, I'm not arachnophobic, but I am extremely uncomfortable around anything to do with them.